I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
