What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
