he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i love accidental penises.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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