Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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