Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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