Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
