We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize