whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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