Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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