Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
