dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
