The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
