Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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