The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
