So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
