Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
