Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
