No stitches, just platelets and will power
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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