I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
