hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The adults are the big ones right?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
