what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
