i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
