nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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