But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
