Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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