is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
