I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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