Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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