Sry I called you an 8
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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