Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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