He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
