Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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