your parents love me but you hate me
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think I died a long time ago.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
