It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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