I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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