it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I deserve this hangover.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
