Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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