Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
