he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
