Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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