So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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