im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
