Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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