well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
