So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
