At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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