Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
