Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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