Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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