yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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