tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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