I am puke
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
