i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
