I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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