Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
