Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
