Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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