Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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