I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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