is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
