careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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