just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
