Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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