I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
