Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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